The Pits of Despair

by Farhana Ab Rahman

Pix Credit: saysawesome.blogspot.com

Women spend a lot of time and money shaving armpits, legs and the legendary unmentionables! Why do they need to go through such a troublesome periodical practice? When did this custom start and how did it become a trend?

If it’s for hygienic reasons, why don’t men to it too? Is it all a big conspiracy by the razor companies?

How to be a Millionaire: Money Grows on Trees

by Amir Hafizi

Pix credit: smokeysdaughter.blogspot.com

If you’re constantly complaining that you’re poor, you should stop reading this article and go get a job or something.

I know a lot of con-men, and they have revealed to me just how easy it is to make money, even for honest, hardworking kampung folk like me. Especially for kampung folk.

Here are some things you can do to be a millionaire. If you have land to plant things on - you can disprove the saying that money doesn’t grow on trees:

Flatscreen TVs: What’s Right for You?

by Victor Yap

Pix Credit: hometheatre.com
Rows and rows of flatscreen displays...what is the perfect choice?

Flatscreen TVs have been experiencing price cuts all year round since LED-backlit LCD TVs were introduced into the market three years ago. With prices for the smallest LCD TVs dropping at an escalated rate, consumers are certainly encouraged and somewhat compelled to ditch their old TV sets for these fancy new ones.

So here’s the scenario: It’s roughly a month before Chinese New Year or Hari Raya (or some other upcoming festive season) and you feel it is the right time to change that old TV set that is cluttering up the new fancy living room cabinet. Determined for change, you now have enough motivation to part with some hard-earned cash and have decided to buy a brand new flatscreen TV with all the innovative features and intuitive functions one can cram into that super-slim chassis. This, of course, includes 3D rendering capability - a must have!

But wait…there is a problem: which one to get?

Language Violated

by HaDi m. NoR ~cRaZyDiaMonD~

Pix Credit: www.intoon.com

Thousands of years ago, after eons of evolution and adaptation, mankind decided that having a form of communication was vital. This primitive form of language probably started with grunts, moans and “ooh-ooh”. Based solely on the intonations of their grunting, this primitive form of communication may sound the same but each tone and form could be entirely different things.

“Ooh ooh uh.” – Give me some food. OR Get your own food. OR I’ve made a painting on the cave’s wall.

Webcomics Avenue

by Victor Yap

Pix Credit: Megatokyo, Fred Gallagher
Largo from the Megatokyo webcomic is always ready to add a little l33t sp34k to his speech.
Note: Megatokyo was one of the first webcomics to go mainstream and spread the sp34k l33t (speak leet) culture.

It is a known fact that most comic fans love to draw, and would have tried their hand at producing a comic - be it a panel or an entire book. Some may even have considered or pursued a full-time job that allows them to create and publish their very own comics

As passionate as they may be, many Malaysian comic artists find it difficult to look for opportunities that can help them publish their comics. The same can be said of independent artists overseas as well.

The 5 Best Answers for that ‘Question’!

by Niswatul Karimah

Pix Credit: makecakeidea.net Cake:
One of the main  reasons people go to weddings

What question you ask? This of course: “When will you get married!?!”

Having so many weddings taking place over the last two years, due to some magic with dates, matching numbers, novel memories, and for wanting "Dragon Year" babies, which both Chinese and non-Chinese seem to be crazy about, the above question has become a very common annoyance as of late.

Science - The Buzzkill

by Hadi M. Nor

Pix Credit: http://historeo.com/
Too much facts!

I’ve tried writing a poem before but I did not succeed. Whenever I try to construct and arrange words to form a beautiful metaphor, my subconscious self would remind me of why these metaphors could never work.

It is because of scientific facts.  I know that the metaphor in a poem should not be taken literally but I can’t help it. When I try to write, these scientific facts breathe down my neck like a stern, nerdy parent.

Stupid Job Requirements

by Niswatul Karimah

Pix Credit: Canary Pete, Sourced: http://www.thedigeratilife.com

Are you a fresh graduate and actively looking for a job? Then, this article is mainly prepared for you as a ‘guide’ to get a job that will suit you well.

Let’s look at the job requirements that you are applying for right now. Does the list looks like what was written in the picture below?

Hackweekend 3 - "Make Apps Not War"

by Rauf Fadzilla

Pix Credit: Hackweekend

If you would like to take a shot at developing the next hot new program or simply see what all the fuss is about, look out for the next instalment of  the now popular Hackweekend series Hackweekend 3 - "Make Apps, Not War" (cool poster huh?).

To be held on the 31st March 2012 at Pusat Sains Negara, this event will be a 24 hour marathon of epic proportions, featuring creative madness and wanton self-flagellation (just kidding).

Weird Ways of Dieting

by Ridhatul Rizki Sayuti

Pix Credti: thechive.com
Mmm... sushi...

Everyone has their dream body weight and figure. Most of them would do anything to lose or gain weight. Anything from having a balanced healthy diet to even sometimes putting themselves at risk.

There are also many bizarre ways to get that ideal shape, ranging from the desperate to the extremely creative. Here are three ways that people use to lose weight.

The Cheap Toy Manufacturer Conspiracy Part 1

by Rauf Fadzilla

Pix Credit: http://www.suanie.net

(The views expressed here are the personal opinion of the columnist. KuihLapisKu does not endorse any opinions on the topic unless specified.)

Every generation has something that defines it. Similarly, their collective personalities are driven by a trend (or several trends) that come from their shared subconscious history.

Without even realising it, these trends and products undoubtedly influenced the way in which this generation grew up and the habits that they display as they age into adulthood.

The Window Rattlers

by Hadi M. Nor

Pix Credit: KuihLapisKu

 A few years ago, I told my girlfriend that I snore. We broke up the week after.

I apologize for sending you the wrong message here. We did not break up because I snore; that would’ve been very shallow. We broke up because I didn’t reply her text message once.

Run Run Show: How to Write Movies in Malaysia

by Amir Hafizi

Pix Credit: Coverscript.com
For us, it would be easier to have a Justice League of Malaysia, comprising of superheroes.

A lot of people say they want to write movies, but they never do. For some, it is perhaps because they like the idea of writing, but not do the actual writing. Because if you love to wield the pen, then you would hunker down, shut up, and write. 

The few locals that want to or are already writing might be intimidated by the Malaysian film scene since it is a unique industry. Indeed, the country has no national-level Writer’s Guild, which means it’s everyone for him-or-herself out there.

Personality through Cartoons

by Hanna Hussein

Pix Credit: All characters are copyright to their respective owners and productions studios
It's like one big happy family!

Everyone loves cartoons. In some cases even adults get addicted to and are fascinated by them. Without realising it, your preference for them may be a somewhat true reflection of your personality.

Tok Bomoh: The Perfect Supervillain

by Hadi M. Nor

Pix Credit tukartiub.blogsot.comHeath Ledger could’ve played this character very well.

You probably remember Cicak Man, a Malaysian superhero film starring Saiful Apek as our hero and Aznil Nawawi as the antagonist, Prof. Klon. Prof. Klon in the film reminds the audience too much of Jim Carrey’s The Riddler in Batman Forever (1995).

We need to have our own supervillain, a character Malaysia is familiar with instead of a poor rendition of The Riddler. I propose a Tok Bomoh.

Useless Things People Have In Their Car

By Hadi M. Nor

Pix Credit: KuihLapisKu
We wuv you~!

We care about you, so we compiled this list. Please get rid of any items we mention from your car because we don’t want you to turn into a repulsive hoarder.

There are things in your car that don’t belong there but you choose to keep them because you’re too lazy to throw them out or you feel that you may need them.  We know what you’re thinking. “It’s my car! You can’t control me!”

Hollywood in KL

by Victor Yap

Pix Credit: Universal Studios Singapore
Now when can we get an attraction like that in Malaysia?

So you want to work in Hollywood eventhough none of you look like Brad Pitt or Jessica Alba or even possess the acting talent of the weird-looking Steve Buscemi. You may possess some ability with the camera and basic movie editor skills but Steven Speilberg or Martin Scorsese you are not.

Even if you do have any of the above, you still have to consider the air fare, which may go up to as much as several thousand Ringgit for a one-way ticket to Hollywood. Fret not on such challenges, you young aspiring creatives, as there be some positive activies that are occuring within the local creative industry.

Illegal Vehicle Mods that Malaysians Love

by Hanna Hussein

Pix Credit: longsphotogallery.blogspot.com

Watching the 'Fast and Furious' series that stars heart-throbs Vin Diesel and Paul Walker has certainly motivated many Malaysians to transform their cars into souped-up swinger mobiles. Heard of the familiar saying: your car defines your personality? Indeed, you might as well modify it into an awesome ride that you can be proud of.

However, many vehicle mods that Malaysians fantasised about were made illegal by the Road Transportation Department (JPJ). Despite the prohibition, many take no heed of the laws in place as most of them are filthy rich people who own Porches, Audis and BMWs and consider RM200 to be loose change.

Indie Music Production

by Amir Hafizi

Pix Credit: seanoterecording.com

So you play music. Or think you have a good voice. You may have a band, or not. You want to join your favourite stars and come up with your own album.

Here are two good pieces of news for you - most popular local artistes today record albums on their own, and you can do so for cheaps! In other words, recording an album can go for a song. Heh.

Don't You Love Kuala Lumpur Drivers?

by Hanna Hussein

Pix Credit: yapthomas.com

Kuala Lumpur (KL) citizens are known to be the friendliest people. They can be very gentle and easy-going towards one another and also towards foreigners, but when they are put behind the wheel, they tend to have the common attitude of "Me-First-People"! 

Well, I don't really want to judge, but you make the call - do KL folk drive this way?

Whatever Happened to Mix Tape Culture?

by Rauf Fadzilla

Pix Credit: http://scottboms.com/2007/12/the-tips-of-my-ears/

Remember those wind-up sticky labelled mix tapes back when backstreet was back and Warren G was regulating?

Those were the days of Atari consoles and 8 track players, back when ingenuity and innovation was a part of everything, way before the simple 'download to playlist' and 'click to burn' tools of today's pampered generation Y'ers.

Who says dating has to be expensive?

by Hanna Hussein

Pix Credit: parlorfm.tumblr.com
“Obviously, you’re paying half for this.”

How often do you go out on a date with your girlfriend? Twice a week? Maybe every day?  And how much does it actually cost you for romantic dates – including lunch and dinner at exclusive restaurants, movies, fuel and maybe shopping? Probably RM2000++ a month. Wow! Can you really afford that if you're not some rich-man's son?

Well, you can play the gentleman to impress your girlfriend but pampering her with cash is not the way. It will only burden you with debts, and of course you don't want that, do you? 

Cinema Ethics: How Audiences Can Ruin A Film

by Hadi M. Nor

Pix Credit: telegraph.co.uk

It’s shameful really, knowing that society needs to be educated on manners when watching a movie.

Going to the cinema is one of the most popular and favoured activities because of its suitability for any occasion such as a date, time with family or an outing with friends, even to hire a contract killer. It is one of the best ways to spend time with someone or a group of people without talking to each other.

Degeneration M - What They Mean When They Say Generation This or That

by Amir Hafizi

I grew up as a proud member of Generation X. Gen-Xers have a comic book named after them, the letter ‘X’ in their name and were also taken to the next level by WWE’s Degeneration X, made up of wrestlers Triple H, Shawn Michaels, and a bunch of other people.

Pix Credit: http://whatculture.com, rights: WWE
That's right chumps...it's DX. Problem?

When I joined the workforce some eight or nine years ago, some people told me I was not from Generation X but from Generation Y, because I was born in 1980 - the start of Gen-Y.

Distraught at losing my X-Factor, I ran back to my village in Kuantan where my family told me I am from a lost generation, as Gen-X ended in 1978 and Gen-Y started after 1982.

Why the QWERTY keyboard?

By Rauf Fadzilla

Pix Credit: qwerty-definition.seebyseeing.net
The QWERTY keyboard.

Ever wondered why the keyboard keys are arranged this way?

The QWERTY keyboard, named for the arrangement of letters on the top left row of the alphanumeric keyboard is the most common arrangement for keys on a keyboard or typewriter.

How FIFA 12 Made Me A “Football Expert”

By Hadi M. Nor

Pix Credit: KuihLapisKu

Whenever my friends and I get together and they start talking about topics I am clueless about, I just keep quiet and play with my phone (usually I'd be in the midst of refreshing my Twitter timeline for about a few dozen times). But when they start talking about football players, I would suddenly jump into the conversation and throw in my two-cents as if I’m Shebby Singh. While I sound like a fanatic, in actual fact, I don’t watch football as often as my friends do.

Only during major clashes between big teams and cup finals are the times I will watch the beautiful game on TV. If I missed an important match, I try to keep a lookout for the highlights. But my source of information does not come from whatever I watch. Instead, my football knowledge is extensive because I am an avid fan of football games. My current poison is: FIFA 12 for the PlayStation 3.

Common Words Frequently Mispronounced by Malaysians

By Hadi M. Nor

Pix Credit: http://xkcd.com/148

As Malaysians, we have our own slang in speaking and writing English like adding the word ‘-lah’ in our sentences and speaking the ‘Rojak Language’. For example, “Macha, the makan place at your house there, cun ar?” (Possibly the most 1Malaysia sentence ever written.)

It’s okay that we have our own slang like other countries do and speak English in our own mother tongue’s intonations but words, however, must be said correctly.