by Niswatul Karimah

Pix Credit: Canary Pete, Sourced: http://www.thedigeratilife.com
Are you a fresh graduate and actively looking for a job? Then, this article is mainly prepared for you as a ‘guide’ to get a job that will suit you well.

Let’s look at the job requirements that you are applying for right now. Does the list looks like what was written in the picture below?


Pix Credit: KuihLapisKu
Yay…I should have a what-to-do list for the next 12-months while I am jobless

Reality bites really hard, right?

Okay, imagine that you decided to apply for a position with all the requirements that you know and fully believe that you qualify for. And then the much expected call for an interview from the company comes through.Time for celebrations right? A small one perhaps...

...then, the real battle begins 10 minutes before the big meet when you realise you are all alone in defending yourself from the ‘machine gun barrel’ of the interviewer. 

Here is an excerpt of what may happen:
Interviewer: What experience do you have in this field? (Stern face)

Interviewee: I don’t have any. (Can’t you read in my resume that I’m a fresh graduate?)

Interviewer: Do you own transport with a valid driving license?

Interviewee: I do have a valid driving license, but I don’t own a transport. (Again, I’m a fresh graduate, HELLO?!)

Interviewer: Do you speak a third language at home?

Interviewee: err…Javanese. Does that count? 

Interviewer: Your expected salary is way too high for a fresh graduate like you. What made you apply for this job? Despite a degree that you have, none of the other requirements are met!

Now pause for bit here. Instead of grovelling at the interviewer's feet for a job that you know you will hate, would it be great if we could say this:

Interviewee: (inhales deeply) Pardon me, sir; I knew that I can’t meet all the (stupid) requirements for the position, but all vacancies available in the market right now ask for such (stupid) requirements. What options do I have? I’m a fresh graduate, how can you expect me to have any work experience when you are the one who should be equipping me with it. Also, because I’m a fresh graduate, I have no means to buy a car while I’m half-dead looking for a job to earn some money. As for knowing additional languages, I don’t believe that it should be one of the main requirements! The only third language I know is Javanese. I happen to speak Javanese at home because my maid is Indonesian. The comment on my asking salary is the most ridiculous! I’m a degree holder. I worked hard for that certificate. And to make sure I even qualify for it, I generated a huge debt with the government when I applied for the PTPTN loan. Now with this debt tied to me for life how am I suppose to survive in this growing yet highly acidic economy now?

Well, if given a chance, we definitely want to answer him like that, right? However, you can’t win this argument. The interviewer can simply say that he can find a person who meets all the (stupid) requirements later.

This is absurd, and no employer should ask these from fresh graduates:

This is absurd, and no employer should ask these from fresh graduates:

1.      You MUST own a car
- In order to buy a car, you need 3 months latest pay slip to get your bank loan approved.
- Here is the formula for easy study:
: Job =  car + degree 
: but a car = job + 3 months pay slip
: so job = (job + 3 months pay slip) + degree
: Job = illogical!

2.      You MUST have at least 1 year of working experience in the related field
- Even for a fresh graduates, you are required to have experience to get the job
- Another formula:
: Job = experience + degree
: but having experience = job + degree
: that means a job = (job + degree) + degree
: Job = what?

Pix Credit: Morris, Source: CartoonStock.com
3.      Required language (s): Bahasa Malaysia, English and Klingon
Universities and colleges are now offering additional language to their students as an added value. While this is fine and dandy, especially if you studied at international institutions where the practical use is valid,  it doesn’t seem practical to ask a local graduate that question if he is fluent in these languages since there were no opportunities to properly put it into practice.

4.      Unreasonable salary (RM1500 for degree-holders)
- It is not because fresh graduates are too demanding, but we have to be realistic in this world.
- Once again with the formula:
: Degree = Job (RM1500 )
: 1500 = Socso/EPF - rent - car loan - study loan - bills - food - other expenses = -1500
: this means having zero savings for retirement or emergencies

For some, the solution is to get a second degree or a Master’s or Ph D. However, when they finally achieve that, a new problem would arise. 

This is a favourite line:
Interviewer: Unfortunately, you are overqualified for this position.
Pix Credit: Schwadram, Source: CartoonStock.com
Too bad...heh!
Erm...sure...good luck to that!

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