By Hadi M. Nor

Pix Credit: KuihLapisKu
We wuv you~!
We care about you, so we compiled this list. Please get rid of any items we mention from your car because we don’t want you to turn into a repulsive hoarder.

There are things in your car that don’t belong there but you choose to keep them because you’re too lazy to throw them out or you feel that you may need them.  We know what you’re thinking. “It’s my car! You can’t control me!”

Well, if you have a car, you are bound to have passengers. These passengers could be anyone of your friends, colleagues, a date, or if you’re adventurous enough, random murderous hitchhikers. We don’t want you to look bad in front of these people.

We care about you. We really do.

If you have one cushion in the car, you’re only providing comfort. Very considerate! But if you have five cushions instead, that just makes you plain evil.

Pix Credit: KuihLapisKu
There are many cushions with cute designs such as a picture of a baby panda or the ones shaped like Pikachu, but you don’t have to put them all in the car. How often have passengers used these cushions? They usually just put the cushions on their laps - not to relax their elbows - but to make space. Or, hey, maybe as makeshift silencers for the guns they are hiding.

I’ve actually encountered a person (who shall not be named. I’ve already lost friends for writing this post who has SEVEN cushions in her car. That’s seven times more than you need. She was nice enough to give me a lift, so I am expressing my gratitude by not mentioning her name here.

Emergency Food
“Emergency food” in the car usually equates to snacks for drivers to munch on in case they are hungry and/or bored in traffic jams. This is a good way to stay awake but a piece of chewing gum would suffice for this sort of situation. You don’t need bags of chips!

There are some drivers who store food in their glove compartments as if a nuclear holocaust is coming. If such a catastrophe were to happen, a tonne of snacks would not be enough to keep you alive. Remember, your car is not a food bin.

You’re not a radio DJ. Your car is not a club and it is not your responsibility to entertain your ‘audience’ (passengers) with the kind of music that defines you as a cool, cute, and charismatic person.

There used to be a time when people would choose ONE CD from their shelves to enjoy in the car. This was before we could download music for free on the Internet (of course this is illegal, you pirates!). Now people have hundreds of songs in their computers that they burn into CDs, turning the once humble car into a psychedelic jukebox with ADD (Attention Deficit Disorders for the uninformed).

Plush Toys
We would like to clarify that this story is putting a lot of effort to avoid offending specific groups of people, particularly women. (Kuihlapisku has nice people. Did you not look at the picture of the Rilakkuma Bear above?). There, end disclaimer.

Women love plush toys and, some, if not all, go as far as stuffing a whole bunch of them in their cars. There is a place where all these belong and it’s called: the bedroom. It is the place where girls can do anything they want. Really, anything at all!

Just like painting a Ferrari pink, your car will feel insulted. Do not treat your car like it is a little girl’s bedroom. Treat it like the beast that it is.

Pix Credit:
Seriously? Pink? Who paints their Enzo pink!?
Look! Here’s a collectible sticker (Right click to save). Collect them all!