by Hanna Hussein

Pix Credit: yapthomas.com
Kuala Lumpur (KL) citizens are known to be the friendliest people. They can be very gentle and easy-going towards one another and also towards foreigners, but when they are put behind the wheel, they tend to have the common attitude of "Me-First-People"! 

Well, I don't really want to judge, but you make the call - do KL folk drive this way?
Pix Credit: online.wsj.com
The most challenging part is typing an emoticon.
1)      Handy driver
KL people are amazing! They are multi-functional! They can steer with one hand and hold a mobile phone in the other while texting or talking on the phone. Sometimes, you can see women drivers in the morning putting on their lipstick, eye-shadow and blusher. I once saw a man in his late 40's, driving his Perodua Kancil while reading the newspaper in the middle of traffic on the Federal Highway. How cool is that? Well, beware uncle, there's always the possibility that you may smash into the car in front while you read today's hot topic! Where do these people come from? The circus?
  
2)      Emergency Lane
The emergency lane is the left lane that is used for emergency purposes. In KL, ‘emergencies’ also include any type of urgent or life and death situation such as being late for work, going to the toilet and even leaving the iron plugged in at home. Of course, because it is an emergency, you can drive at twice the speed of the other cars on the road.
  
3)      Fast lane
The fast lane is the lane on the far right of the highway. Usually, this lane is used for over-taking slow cars. However, since ALL KL residents are faster than speeding bullets, EVERYONE wants to be on the fast lane. Therefore, it is normal for cars in Malaysia to drive so close to each other on the fast lane in order to provoke the slow cars in front of them or to use the "supposedly" slow lane to overtake them, making the slow lane the NEW fast lane.
  
4)      Traffic Lights
Basically, there are three colours on standard traffic lights, green, yellow and red. Psychologically, for most KL drivers, green means "Go", yellow means "Go Faster" and red means "STOP if there is traffic coming in the other direction."

Pic Credit: en.wikipedia.org
“It’s still a little greenish! Go go go!”
5)      Signal Lights
Signal lights are used to indicate that someone is going to turn right or left. In KL, signals are merely a form of decoration, KL drivers usually turn whenever they want and stop without giving any signal. Why? Because instead of signal lights, Malaysian drivers use telepathy to communicate with each other.  Oops - my mistake. Signal lights are used for one thing - to make sure no one overtakes you. Why? Simply.

Look! Here’s a free, collectible sticker (Right click to save). Collect them all!